Holiday or extortion?
The Valentine’s Day advertising campaigns are in full swing and it seems I can’t go an hour without seeing a tv spot for a jewelery store. A local business is even using the slogan “When your loved one expects the very best.” “Expects?” “The very best?” Good lord. Of course these ads are targeted at men, with the subliminal message that if you don’t give a woman the article being pushed, she won’t love you anymore. And the object typically being promoted is diamonds.
Bullshit.
I hate this on two levels. First of all, I resent the implication that woman are greedy, grasping creatures whose affections rest on a man’s ability to chose (and afford) the “right” gift. Using this fallacy to inspire insecurity in men is unforgiveable. Relationships are not built or maintained on presents; if they are, you’ve got a bigger problem then what to give your partner on a retail-based holiday.
National statistics say that on Valentine’s Day the average man spends $137.50; the average woman $68.64. That right there shows at whom these guilt messages are aimed. Men. “Gifting” is considered the salvation of profits, which is indicative of a societal misperception that dollars = devotion. Come on, guys. Give us–and yourselves–a little more credit than that.
Secondly, as many of you know, I’m morally opposed to the sale of diamonds. I go so far as to refuse to buy or wear any clear stones, even zirconium or obviously fake clear crystals. I will not give the appearance that diamonds have value. Their human cost is too high for me to stomach, and as long as there is a market for them–even non conflict diamonds–someone somewhere will do whatever it takes to make money from them, whether DeBaers or rebels and regimes in West Africa. I don’t expect everyone to agree with me, but for me it’s a matter of social conscience. I hate, hate, hate this advertising that presents them as an expression of love.
Love doesn’t involve extortion, so don’t let the ads tell you otherwise. I hope you’ll all consider opting out of this mindset and go with your hearts, not your wallets. On Valentine’s Day, and every day.
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I’ve edited and reedited this a dozen times — I’m lacking confidence in my ability to express myself today and it’s coming out preachy. I’m not saying anything you don’t already know here. It just makes me mad that someone might buy into this crap.
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15 Responses to “Holiday or extortion?”
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My Valentines from my husband was a treat at my favorite restaurant where I ate my favorite steak. My eyeballs are still rolling. T.G. Scott(Quote)
Sounds like a great solution, Tammy. :) Terry(Quote)
I am so glad I’m not the only one. I am so opposed to Diamonds because of the history behind them and they aren’t even all that pretty. The first thing I told my boyfriend when we moved in together was “If you ever propose to me and get me a diamond ring I’ll give it right back and say no.” Natalie(Quote)
Good for you, Natalie! Not only did you make your point, you educated him as well. Staying diamond-free is more difficult than it seems at first glance. Before Christmas I was shopping for opal jewelery for my daughter (her birthstone) and everything I found had diamond chip accents on it. Finally at the 6th store I found something I could buy–and she could wear–with a clear conscience.
People frequently tell me my little protests won’t change anything. Maybe so, but if I can’t be part of the solution, I can refuse to be part of the problem. Terry(Quote)
I have been getting a lot of amusement out of watching the diamond industry sweat over “artificial” diamonds. They are “protecting the consumer” from “imitations”. Yeah, it’s a diamond, only without the flaws, or high price, or slavery. It just came out of a big machine instead of a volcano. Someday diamonds will be $5/carat and DeBeers will be history. :-)
All over town are signs pimping Valentine’s day. One shows an expensive diamond broach, with the caption; “Long-term wife insurance.” Another shows a different diamond bauble, with a giant lip imprint next to it indicating that’s the response you’ll get. How is that not prostitution? decrepitoldfool(Quote)
Those averages terrify me. Because spouse and I don’t hardly spend anything on V-Day (lunch out, and all the half-price chocolate we can carry), which means that someone is really, really overdoing it on our behalf…. Ahistoricality(Quote)
Exactly, DOF! Women = prostitutes. How offensive. Terry(Quote)