It happens to all of us. Our bodies change over the years, and sometimes that’s traumatic, particularly for women. We’re bombarded by pictures of young, thin women, not just clothed but also marginally covered, like the Victoria’s Secret ads on tv and my daily online newspaper. Many of us can’t help absorbing those images and feeling we don’t measure up, so we should cover up. I know I do.
A study from the UK says I’m not alone.
From the Daily Mail:
Experts believe the compulsion to cover up is putting a serious strain on domestic relationships, with one woman in ten having to turn out the light before she can undress in front of her partner.
Some of the most awkward encounters happen in the bathroom - with nearly a quarter of females never entering with their other half.
Of those who do, around a third said they felt self-conscious about being seen in the nude. According to the survey of 3,500 women for a bathroom equipment company, one in ten is so body-shy she will even lock the bathroom door to avoid her partner bursting in.
If this is talking about anything other than showering, I think it’s a totally separate issue from nudity. If it is about showering, “bursting in” implies active privacy invasion and being exposed against your will. If you can’t trust that your wishes will be respected, then locking the door seems reasonable to me.
Despite all this, almost all women interviewed agreed that it was vital that a couple felt comfortable naked together. Men seem largely immune to the insecurities afflicting their girlfriends and wives, and are happy spending almost double the amount of time being naked in an average day.
They are so fond of being naked that more than two-thirds said they regularly walk around the house with nothing on.
Even though 46 per cent of women confess they like to do the same, a third of these said they would never wander naked where their partner could see them.
It is the same in the gym, where 79 per cent admitted they had hang-ups showering and changing in front of other. (sic)
Nudity is vulnerability. It leaves you open not just physically but emotionally as well. Rejection from a stranger is bad enough; from a loved one, it’s devastating. So we’ll do nearly anything to avoid that, even if in reality that reaction has never come. It might next time, so we guard against it by hiding our bodies, sometimes going to great lengths to do so.
It’s all so sad. Unfortunately, I have no answer for it. It’s not just age or weight, because many young, slender women have the same issues. Few of us are as comfortable in our bodies as we’d like to be and until we are, how can we expect to get positive feedback for our natural selves? It’s a nasty cycle of fear.
I guess all I can say is, be kind to each other. And to yourselves.
