Day 9
I’ve made it a week plus. The cravings have mostly gone away, as well as the physical withdrawal symptoms, but the one thing that hasn’t disappeared is the newly arrived sans-nicotine anxiety. I’m starting each day with a major anxiety attack that runs until mid afternoon, and it’s wearing me down. I know that all I have to do it break it is to light up, but I refuse to do that. So I’m trying to tough it out and hope desperately it isn’t permanent. It was anxiety attacks that drove me back to smoking 2 years ago and I don’t want that to happen again.
Writing is still next to impossible. I feel guilty for abandoning the blog, but little updates like this is the most I can manage right now. For me ritual is a huge part of writing. That’s a good thing, for triggering the openness it takes to create. But it’s really tough when that ritual includes tobacco. I’m used to chain smoking at my desk, and I can’t do that anymore. My ritual is shot.
So I’m still here, still reading all of you — I just can’t put words on the screen right now. Please be patient with me. It will come back eventually.
May 30th, 2007 at 9:28 am
I’m so proud of you for doing it that sporadic posts are not at all important. Your progress is.
May 30th, 2007 at 11:30 am
I meant to comment sooner, but I echo what Natalie says. I’m ***so*** proud of you for quitting smoking. I know it’s hard to do, but you can do it. You have the support of your family and friends, but the entire blogsphere!!! Go, Terry!
May 30th, 2007 at 11:36 am
Hugs, Terry! You hang in there, girl. You’ll be much better in the long run for quitting, and I bet the attacks will go away with time. Difficulty at this stage is to be expected. Just hang on. I’m so proud of you!
May 30th, 2007 at 11:52 am
Blogging is not life. Life is important and must be lived every day. Blogging will wait.
I have a similar problem with regard to writing, but with food….
May 30th, 2007 at 5:24 pm
You can do this.
May 31st, 2007 at 2:41 am
Take your time — in the long run, not smoking will be better for you…
May 31st, 2007 at 3:56 am
Shalom Terry,
One day at a time.
http://afterenlightenment.blogspot.com/2007/05/i-quit-smoking-five-ears-ago-today.html
B’shalom,
Jeff
May 31st, 2007 at 11:39 am
Thanks, all of you. I’m so glad I posted about this, because your support makes such a difference for me. I appreciate it–and you–so much.
June 1st, 2007 at 3:21 am
Good going, Terry. I love your new banner. It reminds me that that was the carrot I used to help me quit — with the money I saved by not smoking, I bought my first printer — an old dot matrix affair — that I could use to print out my submission packets.
Of course, in those days, cigarettes cost considerably less.