A waking nightmare
From Burrow on her blog Angry For A Reason:
The daughter of teachers and with a glittering academic future, Fran was delighted when she became pregnant. But social services discovered the illness she thought she’d put behind her - and will confiscate her daughter when she is born…
It’s frightening but true. A 22-year-old woman in the UK is losing her baby at birth because of a mental illness she suffered at 15. Her psychologist says she’s no danger to anyone, not even herself, but a letter from a specialist who has never met her was all it took for the family court to decide her baby would be better off in foster care, or adopted.
The fear of this happening is one of the things that kept me from getting treatment for a lot of years. When I first asked for help, the doctor asked only one question; was I a danger to my children? Absolutely not. Never. Then you’ll get over it, he told me. But the seed was planted. If anyone knew what shape I was in they could take my kids away, even though I would never hurt them.
What’s happening to this woman is right out of my nightmares. Skip over to Burrow’s place and read all the awful details. This could happen to any one of us.
September 21st, 2007 at 4:22 pm
Oh, how awful for this young woman (and her baby!). You know, I always had this fear, too, that some zealot would learn of my illness and take my child. No wonder there are cloaks (of shame?, of guilt?, of fear?) around this illness, and around us.
September 22nd, 2007 at 9:57 am
I think we are afraid a lot of the time, and it’s not just mania paranoia. Sometimes we’re powerless over our symptoms - being aware of that is terrifying. But when we’re powerless to defend ourselves against others who don’t understand, it’s even worse. They can take the things we love the most and we can’t do a damn thing about it. There’s nothing worse than that.
September 22nd, 2007 at 11:46 pm
That is terrifying. To think all the times I’ve unsuspectingly answered questions about the medication I’m taking and whether or not I’ve seen a psychiatric doctor - these answers were being logged, filed and could be used against me in future, possibly in a manipulative way… it gives me the shudders. And the questions occur so often, now that I think about it.
I was talking to my husband lately about his current indignation at ‘agencies’ (?) putting up cameras at random areas, they say to protect the public. Filming us without our knowledge then keeping the tape for an indefinite amount of time, to be used for… ? What? If a crime hasn’t been committed why do they need to film us? To protect us from ‘potential’ crime was the answer.
I told my hubby he was worrying too much, that it felt safer to me to have the cameras pointed at me in case something did go wrong, but then he explained that police officers aren’t patrolling the areas being filmed so there’s no extra chance if something happens a law official will be there to save you as a result. They’re just filming… collecting information and filming… for what?
September 23rd, 2007 at 1:40 pm
So wrong, so scary, so horrifying. I’m speechless.
September 23rd, 2007 at 7:31 pm
This is so awful - is there ANY evidence at all she’d be a hazard to her child?
A while back I was in hospital for a particularly rough kidney stone, whacked out on some really strong drugs, and the nurse gave me a mental-health screening. Had I ever had thoughts of killing myself? I answered honestly, because heck, people with fibromyalgia think about it pretty often. Boy was that a mistake…
The catch-22 our society is caught in is this: mental distress is so unacceptable that everyone hides it as carefully as a wild animal hides an injured leg from predators. Then when someone’s mental injuries become known, it seems way out of the norm even though far more people experience it than is generally known. In fact, mental illness is, in one sense, perfectly normal.
September 24th, 2007 at 1:41 pm
Lisa, the amount of information on us is a serious issue. The databases now cover millions of people and anyone with the $ can get access to it. The video watchdogs is a new angle that’s spreading. Frightening.
September 24th, 2007 at 1:50 pm
DOF, no evidence at all from anyone who knows her, including her psychiatrist. After she was raped at 14, apparently she started self-harming (I’m assuming cutting, but it could be something else.) Because of this, the first doctor labeled her with a personality disorder, apparently not considering post-traumatic stress disorder, with most of the same symptoms. She spent a year hospitalized and did some out-patient treatment for another 9 months. The treatment was successful, according to her psychiatrist. After that, she returned to school and excelled and eventually ended up working at a mental health facility. Yet a pediatrician, not even a psychiatrist, when asked submitted a letter stating that she could be at risk for Munchausen By Proxy and therefore a danger not only to her child but any other mother and child. All this without reading her records or meeting her. All this, based on a shaky diagnosis when she was a 14 year old trauma victim.
I talk too much about my own illness here to ever have my last name attached to it. There are too many ways it could be used against me.
September 24th, 2007 at 6:59 pm
Abnormal Psych class was a while ago but I recall that Munchausen by proxy is much more common on television than it is in real life.
After all she has been through, she may not be entirely mentally healthy, whatever that means. Very different thing from saying she is a danger.
Times are changing. It hasn’t been that long since deep horrors awaited anyone with the slightest emotional or cognitive disorder. Someday it will be like a physical injury, a respected cause of suffering and that in itself will make it easier to bear. That day is not here yet, though.
September 25th, 2007 at 12:32 pm
Wow that is so scary. Social services can be such a good thing but sometimes they really make some horrible decisions.