This comes from a post CG Hill had yesterday that really got my hackles up. Not at him–his response was great. At the guy he quoted. I couldn’t let it go at just a comment on his site.

Dr Helen answers a letter from someone whose dance card is empty, and draws this sort-of-mournful comment:

As yet another old virgin, I already know the problem isn’t that women don’t want to have sex, it’s that they don’t want to have sex with someone as ugly as me. Why would they, when there are a million George Clooney clones out there who will bang even the ugliest girl on request, or even the hint of a request? Those of us who didn’t win the genetic cleft-chin lottery are thus left with no dates besides our right hands.Experience has taught me the reason women tend to freak out over things like pornography is because they project onto men the same “trade-up-until-I-get-the-hottest-guy” attitude they themselves have, and can’t comprehend that even the fattest and ugliest real-life girl is better to most guys than the sexiest porn star that only interacts with you through the TV screen.

This guy is 40+ years old and still refers to sex as “banging?” Gee, I wonder why women aren’t interested.

For someone who claims women don’t want him beause of his looks, he does an awful lot of judging himself. That “fattest, ugliest real-life girl” who’s not interested in him no doubt doesn’t want to be with someone who considers her ugly. She’s too uppity to be grateful to be considered better than nothing and thank him for overcoming his revulsion long enough to “bang” her. How dare she expect that her partner in a relationship find her attractive? That privilege is reserved to those he considers beautiful women.

As for “trading up,” he’s doing an unhealthy bit of projecting here. While he’s so busy rating women on their looks, he can’t believe that women aren’t doing the same thing. Yes, women do end relationships; so do men. But I’m willing to bet that in 99% of cases, what the other looks like has nothing to do with it.

He’d do better to focus on seeing women as human beings rather than as objects who withhold from him the sex that he deserves. Maybe then he can grow a relationship that leads naturally to intimacy on multiple levels.