Want a luxurious afterlife without the pesky details of good works and attending services**? Nate Davis and Edgar Kim can hook you up. One visit to Reserve A Spot In Heaven and $15.95 (plus $2 shipping) will get you instant access to paradise. To make the process even easier for you, they accept credit cards and money orders, as well as PayPal, so don’t hesitate. They even offer a 100% money back guarantee.

For that $15.95 you will receive the All Access Travel Kit which includes:

• Heavenly issued certificate of reservation registered in the Book of Light™
• A First class ticket to Heaven. Why walk those stairs when you can fly?
• The Official Heaven Identification Card so you can get around without getting hassled.
• Heaven 101 mini informational guide. Don’t be a victim of culture shock. Get acquainted with the land.
• All access VIP pass. This pass will grant you access to “VIP exclusive areas” including the Land of Milk and Honey and Thug Mansion, where all the elite get together and kick it.

No mention of whether this includes the Rapture Express.

As an alternative to, or in addition to, your booking, make reservations for someone else in Hell.

** Be sure to read the fine print.