May 2


Mid-year resolutions

by Terry 02 May 2008


At the urging of a dear friend, I’m on campaign to make peace with my body. Quitting smoking and riding the med merry-go-round has made me gain weight, and that has crushed my self-esteem. I’m off the gain-inducing drug (hopefully the new one won’t have the same effect), but my metabolism is currently trashed. It’s going to take awhile for it to recover and for the weight to start coming off. Hating myself in the meantime only makes me depressed and doesn’t make me lose weight any faster. In fact, it’s counter-productive, since being depressed makes me want to eat. A healthy relationship with my body shouldn’t depend on the number on my scale.

Since committing to something here makes my motivation stronger, I’m laying out my plan.

I will only step on the scale once a day. I will stop saying horrible things to myself every time I walk past a mirror. I will eat 2 meals a day for a total of 1,200 calories instead of trying to fast — eating a sensible meal is not failure. I will walk on the treadmill 30 minutes every day to improve my health, rather than pushing on to exhaustion to punish myself for being ugly. I will make an effort to treat myself as kindly as I would a friend. Most importantly, I will somehow stop believing that being overweight makes me unworthy and unlovable.

Rebuilding my self-confidence is going to be a big job. Developing destructive patterns took decades, so they won’t go away over night, but one day at a time I can improve my image of myself. Accepting myself as I am isn’t giving up — it’s affirming that there’s more to me than my body. That confidence isn’t only for the young and slim. It should belong to everyone.

It can belong to me.

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5 Comments

5 Responses to “Mid-year resolutions”

  1. Ahistoricality on May 2nd, 2008 11:50 am

    Sounds like a very reasonable plan. I should get me one of those….  (Quote)

  2. Terry on May 2nd, 2008 2:33 pm

    You should do it with me, A. One day at a time.  (Quote)

  3. Lynn on May 5th, 2008 7:33 am

    Be careful, Terry. You should eat more, not less. Six small meals a day, for a reasonable caloric intake, combining carbs and protein, and at least 30 minutes of some type of exercise, will work to burn fat. If you try to starve, your body will go into starvation mode which means it will hold on THAT MUCH HARDER to the fat you want to get rid of. And build in one day a week to eat something you want, even if it isn’t diet approved. Depriving yourself only works for so long — and then you cave and hate yourself even more because you were weak. Trust me. Been there, done that.

    You’re building failure into this plan by eating so little. Try Body For Life — it works. If you follow their diet tips, and moderately exercise (not even doing the harder regime they recommend) it will still melt the pounds. But you gotta eat to lose. :) (Oh, and ignore their supplements — you don’t need them. Their diet and exercise plan alone will work wonders. It’s healthy and sensible.) This WORKS.  (Quote)

  4. Terry on May 5th, 2008 12:07 pm

    Thanks for the concern, Lynn. I’ll look into Body For Life.

    What I’m dealing with right now is that after 5 months on the zoloft, my metabolism has tanked. The dr. said to expect it to take 3-4 months to recover enough for me to begin to lose the weight. I have to keep tight control just to keep from gaining more, let alone lose any. That’s why my focus right now is mostly on not hating myself in the meantime, which is very hard for me.  (Quote)

  5. Lynn on May 5th, 2008 2:17 pm

    I am concerned, which is why I was a bossy busy body. :) You’re my friend and I care! So, please check out BFL when you can. And know that you CAN be a svelte, healthy woman — it will take time and effort — but beauty is on the inside and you already have that. :)  (Quote)

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