Jul 24


Epic fail

by Terry 24 July 2008


Stopping my Geodon wasn’t a good idea. Four days off it and I’m crashing. Big time. I broke down and had to take it this afternoon.

I hate needing this stuff. I don’t want to take them anymore.

To level myself, I’m sitting outside in my rocking chair, with my laptop, decaf coffee, and Death Angel, by Linda Howard. I’m trying to recreate the serenity of my week in North Carolina, and it’s helping some. I won’t go inside until the kids come home from work and need to be fed. I can work from right here on the patio. Maybe I’ll spend the rest of the summer here.

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4 Responses to “Epic fail”

  1. Stephen Leigh on July 25th, 2008 4:55 am

    We take food, because we need the nourishment — and we can’t survive without it. I take an asthma medication every day… because my body overreacts to allergens. You need a mix of things to keep the brain chemistry where it should be because your body won’t do it naturally.

    There’s no ‘fail’ here. In fact, there’s a success; you know you need the Geodon. There are various compromises that people need to compensate for the way their body works. This is yours. That’s all…

    Please don’t be so hard on yourself! *hugs*

  2. CGHill on July 25th, 2008 7:05 pm

    Okay, you can’t lose the Geodon right away. Doesn’t mean you have to resign yourself to every dose of every drug every day. (Have you tried scaling back the Lamicital yet?)

  3. Terry on July 26th, 2008 5:15 pm

    Thanks, Steve. I just get so frustrated and angry sometimes … being dependent on them is so difficult. Makes me feel like I’m defective. If I didn’t have the hope that someone I could get off them I don’t know what I’d do.

  4. Terry on July 26th, 2008 5:25 pm

    That’s worth thinking about, CG. Lamical is to keep me from cycling, so I’m leery of pulling back on it since I have some mood swings anyway. But with the Geodon in the mix, maybe I can get by with less of it.

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