Apr 8


The first step on a long journey

by Terry 08 April 2009


You’ve all been here with me for the trek between diagnosis and acceptance of BPD, and all the byways in between, but now I’m starting on a new pathway toward mental health. My dad’s recent illness has dug up some old issues, so on the recommendation of my psychiatrist, I’ve started seeing a therapist to try to get control of my anxiety. We’ve numbed out most of the panic attacks with large amounts of drugs, but nothing has touched the nightmares, and I can’t live with them any longer. So it’s time for a change.

Since nothing is so terribly boring as someone else’s therapy, I’m not going to talk about it here. But I hope I’ll be able to report some improvement in symptoms and better control over my BPD triggers. As the therapist says, I’m still going to be bipolar, but perhaps it can be better controlled by some counseling in addition to the drugs. Right now I’ve committed to 6 sessions, and at the end of that I’ll reevaluate. As a dear friend told me, I have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

I promise not to bore you with it, but I think it’s going to be good for me. Difficult, but most good things are. I’m going to give it my best shot.

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2 Comments

2 Responses to “The first step on a long journey”

  1. CGHill on April 10th, 2009 7:24 pm

    I consider myself fortunate that I seldom wake up screaming from some of the scary things that course through my brain while I’m supposed to be asleep. Or maybe I’m just (temporarily) better drugged.

    When your mind turns on you, you have to take steps. The alternative is too horrible to contemplate.  (Quote)

  2. Terry on April 11th, 2009 7:47 am

    The nightmares were finally what pushed me to do this, CG. I just can’t take it anymore. No amount of drugs block them. If I can get relief from that, all this will be worth it.  (Quote)

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