Jun 17


How social do I want to be?

by Terry 17 June 2009


I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about this social media thing, and I”m coming to the conclusion that with the exception of this blog, I’m pretty much anti-social.

I used Twitter for awhile, mainly to feed little tidbits into my sidebar here.  That was unrewarding because it was completely one sided – just me sounding off rather than talking to anyone.  I had a few friends also using the service, but most of them are now just feeding in status updates from Facebook and not actively watching the streams anymore.  It’s just an echo chamber for other things.

I tried Facebook, too.  It was fun for a little while, but I couldn’t get into the “gift giving” and the hundreds of pop quizzes that some of my “friends” do and flood across my updates page.  I don’t upload pictures and seldom look at those anyone else posts.  I don’t join causes or sign petitions, and I don’t belong to any organizations that have a presence there.  I sometimes played Scrabble, but I’ve since found a dedicated site where I can play with others or just play solitaire if I want.   I’ve got a couple of true friends on FB but I don’t really use it for staying in touch. I’d rather email, or IM.

The thing I’ve found disappointing about Twitter and Facebook is how shallow those relationships are.  Anytime you have 500+ friends (in my case, 50), how well do you actually know any of them?  How well do you care to?  I know it’s supposed to be networking, but to what end?  I know some of you use it and really enjoy it – that’s great.  I’m glad it works for you.  But it just makes me feel lonelier than I did before I signed up.   I don’t need that.

So I think I’m going to kill my accounts.  Before I go I’ll leave messages to say that I can be found here, if anyone cares enough to look for me.  Sadly, so many of the people I met through blogging have disappeared and moved on to other things, or migrated completely over to Facebook.  I miss them.  But blogging is far more suited to my temperament than 140 characters and one-line status updates. Perhaps I’m drawn to the soapbox and have to have my own center stage.  Maybe it’s all ego.  But you folks talk back to me, and when I write here I feel like I’m making real human contact.

I need that.   Thanks for being here.

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6 Comments

6 Responses to “How social do I want to be?”

  1. Stephen Leigh on June 17th, 2009 6:02 pm

    I feel much the same way about Twitter. Everyone (well, a lot of people) were telling me to try it, so I did, but… It doesn’t work for me — it’s too shallow a communication medium for me.

    I’m also on Facebook; it’s OK, and I’ve reconnected with several people with whom I’d lost touch, and connected with others who aren’t bloggers, but FB for me is only OK. I don’t check it much, and I routinely turn down invitations and block all the (IMO) stupid quizzes and gift stuff.

    I prefer LJ, where I can make a post as long as I feel it needs to be, and where people can comment on it at length as well. That feels more like a ‘conversation’ to me and real connection.  (Quote)

  2. Terry on June 17th, 2009 9:27 pm

    You’ve got such a great LJ community, Stephen, with so many people engaged in the conversation. I really enjoy reading it. With your books to promote, I can see a good reason for you to have a FB presence, too. But I agree, longer posts keep me far more connected.  (Quote)

  3. Rebecca Clayton on June 18th, 2009 9:10 am

    I’m one of those people who signed up for Twitter and “tweeted” once. I just don’t get it, but maybe that’s because Pocahontas County is the land of No Cellphone Service.

    I don’t “get” Facebook either. Facebook’s community reminds me of the bulletin board services in the late 80′s–when the “real” Internet was all ftp sites and Usenet News. (Gosh, I feel old. Hey, you kids! Get off my lawn!) Why do people want a gated Internet community, especially one that lets in trolls, predators, and advertisers, and keeps out the search engines?

    Sometimes I think this is because I’ve seen it all before, and sometimes I think I’m just a cranky old lady. Maybe those alternatives are the same thing.  (Quote)

  4. Sherry Chandler on June 18th, 2009 11:27 am

    The thing I enjoy Twitter for — and I use Identi.ca now — is for posting what I am uneasy calling micropoetry. I have a nice sort of community of fellow poets and got myself included in this anthology of Twitter poets. But it gets out of control very quickly. I usually either have to spend boring hours reading these microposts and links or else I miss the stuff that’s important and find only the self-promoting “tweets” or tiny url links to some longer piece.

    I’m not being very articulate. I do play the games some. It’s like high school. X is playing so I need to play to or X won’t like me.

    Not to mention that I think FB games are dirty with viruses and such.

    So more power to you, Terry. Wish I was as strong-minded as you.

    P.S. where is this dedicated Scrabble site?  (Quote)

  5. Terry on June 18th, 2009 7:06 pm

    Rebecca, I was there in those good old days, too, which is probably why I’m so jaded now. I’ve already done a lot of these things, when I was considerably younger. GEnie in it’s heyday was the Facebook of it’s time, though withhout the graphics.  (Quote)

  6. Terry on June 18th, 2009 7:08 pm

    Sherry, you’ve got a nice writers’ community built up, so I can see where it would be fun for you. And you’re one of the few people I’ll miss in leaving. But we’ll just stay in touch other ways.

    http://lexulous.com is the Scrabble site where you can play by email. I sent you an invitation to play a game.  (Quote)

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